Five on Friday: Appreciation Post

Lately I've been very much appreciating:

1. Watching the basketball coaches on the sidelines of games. I recently realized that I enjoy this the same way I enjoy watching the High School band directors conducting at concerts. Passionate, involved, actively participating and obviously invested but not a part of the team (or band). I dig it. 

Not the best example but I felt sort of creepy taking the video. But you can see what I mean, right? The pacing, the clapping . . . dude is definitely a part of the game while not part of the game.

2. Not working weekends. I didn't mind working on Saturdays at my old job and most of the time I actually liked it. But now that I have Saturdays off . . . well, I might like that even better.

3. Winter sunrises. It's been a mild winter (this pics is from the only snow we've had) but I still hate it and long for spring. That being said, I can't deny how gorgeous the winter sunrises are here.

4. Intergenerational friendships. Since I have so many friends that are older than me, as I'm approaching fifty I find myself thinking, "Only fifty? I'm still a baby!" 

5. Large scale art exhibits.

Five on Friday: Thanks for Checking In

As many of you already know, our 17-year-old athlete snapped his Achilles tendon recently. His surgery went very well but he's got a long road of recovery ahead of him. They said he may not be cleared to play sports for 6-9 months (!!!!!).  Emotionally, he's been handling rather well but I have not. The kids can't figure out why I've established a "no joking about this" rule* when "He doesn't even care, Mom, only you do!"

Well, smarties, it's not just me. Here are some of the nice texts, messages and gestures from other people:

1. From my Mom, relaying a message from my 14-year-old nephew:

2. From my 21-year-old son:

3. From my friend (who also happens to be an athlete, but I think she'd feel the same even if she wasn't) :

4. By the virtue of the fact that my son's coach has called me--twice--proves that this is a big deal. In one of our conversations, I was telling him how I seem to be more upset than my son is. I was really looking forward to watching him play his Senior year soccer season; I very much wanted to see him and his brother on the field together again.

"Oh believe me," he said, "We really wanted to see that too."

5.  Lastly, two of our son's good friends baked him a cake. (The arrow is to get you to notice the . . . illustration. It's supposed to be a bloody foot. Kids are so sweet.)

* Okay, fine, I made one joke. Months before this happened, we had scheduled a short trip to meet up with the alleged adults and have a little getaway with all seven of us. This included a visit to an amusement park. I joked that we would have our son in a wheelchair and use him to cut to the front of the line.

To that, he said, "I don't even want to go on any rides." So I said, "That's okay, once we use you to get in the front, we'll leave you parked in the stroller parking area."

(Spoiler: we did not do this and he was a good sport about it all; sat around at the park for awhile and then I took him back to the air conditioned Airbnb.)

Five on Friday: Every Day is Mother's Day!

I guess if you mean I am a mother every single day that's true but if you mean the kids do something nice for me every day you are soooorely mistaken. 

But you know what? When I think about it, there actually are nice things they do for me at least on a weekly basis. For example:

1. Think all mushrooms are the worst possible food on Earth thereby leaving my foraged food alone (clearly this one is unintentionally nice to me but I'll take it).

2. Amaze me with their talents (again this isn't intentional, they absolutely do this for the love of sport and not for me at all . . . as a matter of fact this guy recently only told me *one* event he was competing in at a meet so I stood around for hours in the sun and missed him competing in the two *other* events that day . . . but I do thoroughly derive pleasure out of seeing them shine). 

3. My older two live five hours away but they are really good about texting and honestly make me laugh out loud several times a week. 

4.  It's true I complain about our youngest a lot. She's always been my button-pusher. Lately, however, she's been a real sweetie. She stuck this note in my lunch:

5.  . . . which made me feel really special but then I found out she did it for her father too. And her brothers. So much for special 😢 

Want to know what really made my heart sing though? Getting this text from her when I was at work:

Best non-Mother's Day gift EVER

Five on Friday: Big Week for the Local History Nerd

Discoveries, graves and awards, oh my!

1.  The graveyard where I did Graveyard Tours last fall has many missing headstones. We've been told stories of "helpful" folks once clearing the overgrown yard by straight up plowing head and footstones into the woods along with the prickers and bramble bush. We've also heard there was a man who used to take stones for his pet cemetery. I have been searching for the missing stones with no luck, but last week one came right to me! It was donated by a man who's had it in his barn for thirty years, left by the previous owners who had discovered it when excavating for an addition. 

It wasn't just any stone, it was a really special one: the headstone for a man whose footstone had been found in the woods and was the very first interment at Mount Lebanon.

Found, clean and set approximately where we suspect he could be buried last fall.

Discovered & returned . . . to be cleaned, repaired and set in the spring.

2. After thinking for months "I need to get in touch with the Mount Amwell Project to find out more about grave repair," the need became more pressing with the return of this significant but broken stone.  

A friend saw my post about the rediscovered grave and then struck up a conversation with a stranger at a brewpub. This stranger happened to be a vital member of the MAP (and is seen in the video on their website) and gave my friend his number for me. He visited me within a few days and gave lots of good advice and offers of help!

3. Advanced ticket sales for Tipsy History opened on Wednesday and were halfway sold out within a few hours.

4. My ongoing research for Tipsy History led me to a graveyard in Phillipsburg, looking for the final resting place of Margaret Rinehart, who had been exhumed from Mount Lebanon and moved there to be next to her husband. I, in the words of my daughter, "Sherlock Holmes-ed it up" and used a number of clues to determine that two basically illegible stones were the ones I was looking for. The clues were good but I wanted more proof. So after a stealthy stone cleaning and rubbing, I got the final proof I was looking for:

Sure looks like -H-A-R-T to me! I'm satisfied!

5. Lastly and the most exciting: I was just informed that my Associate Curator and I are being honored with an Award of Recognition from the New Jersey Historical Commission for our research on the Carlisle Indian School student Outings to our town (and throughout the state). 

We knew as soon as the pieces of this story started coming together that this was tremendously significant. We've been very proud of this work and it's nice to be recognized for it!

Five on Friday: They're Driving Me Crazy But I Like It

 A recent day in the life that apparently I love . . .

1.  After the kids left for school the other day, I found an empty cracker box. It was next to the garbage can. It wasn't entirely empty, actually, it had one cracker in it. No waxy bag inside, just. One. Cracker. 

Next to the garbage can.

So close, yet so far.

2. A little later, I was looking for dried cranberries to make cookies. I found the jar in its usual spot, with ONE LONELY LITTLE DRIED CRANBERRY IN IT. One.

3.  Our 14-year-old son sent me a text soon after he arrived at school that day, asking me to drop off his uniform and sneakers. In his defense:

    a. the news that they'd need their uniforms for a picture that afternoon was only announced as he was arriving at school, and 

    b. He was in a sling and unable to play basketball so didn't have his basketball bag with him.

So even though having to find his stuff and drop it off was slightly annoying, that wasn't the crazy-making part. First there was him asking me to send him a picture to make sure I got the *right* white shoes.

Fine, smarty.

4. I bagged up the uniform and shoes (the sneakers, not the crocs) and left them on the shelf in the high school vestibule where hundreds of kids walk through, as one does when a child forgets something at home.

Here's where the crazy-making really starts: long before he needed these items, a half-day was called due to the weather and they were no longer needed.

I texted him to remind him to grab the bag where, as previously noted, hundreds of kids would be walking and any of them could potentially mess with it. Okay, he said.

Did he remember to grab the bag?

No. No he did not.

(Yes, this is the same kid that wanted to leave his cummerbund on stage until the next day. "Mom, it's fine.")

5. But apparently I like it! I love the chaos. It's actually true and my story for January's Story Slam at Scout's with the theme was Starting Over is proof:

Next Slam is February 24th . . . Under the Influence. See you then!

Five on Friday: MLK Day #20 in the Books

If you've known or been following me twelve months or longer, then you'll already know about the MLK Day of Community Service that I organize. When I started the event in my dining room, I had absolutely no expectations for growth. I certainly didn't think I'd be hosting it in a church hall two decades later.

Honestly, I almost burned out this year but then my passion was rekindled. Read on . . . 

1. I tried to start planning earlier this year. I really did. I literally wrote "MLK IS EARLY THIS YEAR" on my calendar. 

Would you like to know what date I put that on?

(Actual dates I started planning: in the week after Christmas.)

2. It always just seems so daunting to get started. I'll admit, I even had a fleeting thought that maybe this year would be my last one. As the plans very easily began to fall into place (which frankly does not encourage me to listen to myself about starting early) I reconsidered. I told my husband what I was thinking and he very easily convinced me to continue on for another five years. Twenty-five would be a fine time to hand the reins over to someone else and by then our youngest will be eighteen-- meaning all the kids will have grown up with this annual family community event.

3. In all honesty, I feel like I cut a few corners this year. First in-person event since 2020 and unsure of what the community response would be, starting the planning late and with the thought that it might be my last event . . . I don't know. I can't say my heart was completely in it. But then my Facebook memories began to include photos from previous events (including how we managed to pull it off "drive-through" style TWICE!) and my community donated more money than I asked for to buy supplies and my enthusiasm began returning.

And then the day came and along with it, the reminders of what matters the most about it:

4. The way MLK Day has now become synonymous with community. Children (not just mine) are growing up with the tradition of celebrating the life of Dr. Martin Luther King by giving back. The day itself is part reunion (where folks who only see each other once a year at this event get to catch up while assembling toiletry kits to distribute at the homeless shelter) and part an opportunity to meet new neighbors (while helping children make valentines for seniors and veterans).

5. Most importantly, the impact on the larger community is undeniably positive. Over $6,000 in gift cards and boxes of donations for two local food shelters and a veterans' housing facility collected, activity kits for pediatric hospital patients and homebound seniors created, new baby care kits decorated and assembled for local families, Meals on Wheels bags decorated and more and more and more . . . 

                                         

Here's to at least five more years. Big thanks to my family (particularly my co-organizing mother and husband and my children who are the reason I started and continue doing this but roll their eyes and ask, "Do I have to go this year?"), everyone who donated money so I could buy supplies and all the volunteers who set up tables, ran activities, moved boxes, cleaned up, brought donations and participated! Thank you for helping us to make it a Day On, Not a Day Off  in our little corner of the county for twenty years now!

Five on Friday: Thanksgiving Recap

This year, none of my children are tiny and dazzled by holiday magic. Two of them don't even live with us anymore.

Wah.

But if I learned anything during the pandemic, it was to get creative in figuring out how to adapt.  It was also to remember to open my mind and heart to the idea of pivoting. 

This year, we didn't watch the parade on television and we didn't go to a family member's house for dinner, Instead, the five of us from home went out to Pittsburgh where the alleged adults live and we celebrated together out there. 

Some observations and highlights from our holiday:

1. Weeks ago, I told the alleged adults that they should feel free to extend a dinner invitation to any friends who didn't have holiday plans. Our son said his friend would be coming and bringing cranberry sauce. Great!

Two days before Thanksgiving our son's roommate texted me to thank me for including her and to tell me she'd bring snickerdoodle cookies and a floral centerpiece (I like this roommate!). This of course was fine and lovely, but I hadn't heard she'd be coming. I asked my son just how many friends would be joining us? Maybe up to three, but probably not all at the same time. Turned out to only be one anyway. Wheee!

2. Our teenage boys are pretty dedicated to wearing pajama pants as regular pants. Our 16-year-old was, in fact, wearing a pair when he asked me, "Was I supposed to pack something nice to wear for Thanksgiving?" 

I asked, "No, but do you have something that doesn’t look like pajamas to wear?"

"Yeah, I have sweatpants."

Cool.

3. Did the children appreciate the forethought that was involved in preparing Thanksgiving dinner in a sparsely stocked rental house? No. Instead, during our holiday meal our 14-year-old asked, "Mom, didn't you pack any ketchup?"

"Ketchup?? No--for what??"

"MACARONI AND CHEESE."

"No, that's not a thing."

"Yes it is! Not even any hot sauce!!?! Total L move, Mom."

4. While the kitchen might have been sparsely stocked, there was plenty nice about the place we stayed at; particularly the location. We were mere blocks from the upper Duquesne Incline station! Yes, I still have my weird obsession with funiculars (fine, inclined planes) and got to take my first-ever nighttime ride!

5. There was no gingerbread this year--nobody even asked (!!) Bittersweet? A little. A relief? A little (it's a lot of work). Will we whip something up if one of them asks to? Of course. Also, incidentally, our 16-year-old son is in the Polytech Culinary Program and is making gingerbread there. 

*Please note: I began writing this week's list on Wednesday afternoon. On Wednesday evening, my son began telling us about his school gingerbread and Daddy-O asked "when are we going to make ours at home?" So guess who had to run around and get the necessary ingredients for gingerbread making? This gal!

Five on Friday: Remembering to Be Grateful for Little Things

Picture it: Tuesday morning after a long holiday weekend. It's the first day all three home kids are going to school full day this year and the weather is (comparatively) chilly, it's raining, the skies are dark. Oh and I had miserable insomnia the night before. Oh and it was the second night in a row like that.

Not a great start to the day but actually a great way to remember to be grateful for little things. I started paying attention to them that morning and have been noticing them all week. (It's a nice way to pass the time, try it!) 

I am so grateful for:

1. This new thrift score that's perfect for me . . . and that I have many days when I can sneak naps in!

2.  Rainy days providing me the opportunity to wear one of my vintage old-lady rain bonnets that I love so . . . and sit in the car at the bus stop with my girl. 

Bonus: a little boy in the neighborhood that I adore is a big kindergartener this year . . . he saw me and waved like wild. You can't see, so just imagine how damn cute he is.

3. Homemade chai tea latte with frothy milk (thanks to my new free immersion blender from the Buy Nothing page) and in travel mug given to me as a gift that was made at a local pottery studio. That's basically three grats in one!

I just realized it doesn't look all that frothy but that's because I sipped before I snapped the pic.

4.  Having that one song that can totally snap me out of a funk. This one's in heavy rotation lately:

5. Lastly, my heightened obsession with graveyards and my upcoming graveyard tours are keeping me happy and satisfied. Most gratifying has been my recent discoveries of two local Civil War vets . . . now their headstones are cleaned and they are properly honored.

SUPER DUPER BONUS! Last night I was driving through a neighborhood to pick a kid up and thought I saw something fall out of a tree, then realized it wasn't exactly a fall it was more of a swoop, like a bird would do. Then I thought "what kind of bird swoops at night?" and looked again and SAW THE MOST ADORABLE, BIG-EYED-BEANIE-BOO-LOOKING OWL EVER. I don't think I have ever seen an owl in the wild and this one was basically a stuffed animal come to life. I looked online when I got home and I am pretty sure it's this kind. I will never forget its cuteness.

Five on Friday: Just a Little Giacomo Journaling

Listen, I know what I said about cars being better than Vespas, but I didn't actually mean it.

Even though I've been too busy for pure pleasure riding lately, just regular riding is more remarkable when I'm on the Vespa . . . and by that I mean there's always something to remark on.

Here are some recent memorable moments from the 2022 riding season:

1. You know gas prices are high when . . . 

You think that's bad? The week before it was $8.71!

2.  No free parking spots? No problem.

Sharing is caring! (Don't worry, that's my friend's truck.)

3. Everybody loves a Vespa.

Sorry, Dude, I don't think you can drive this thing with hooves. 
And you probably don't even have a motorcycle license anyway.

4. New reversible rain bonnet! New sticker! 

You may or may not realize that my obsession
with cemeteries has only gotten deeper lately.

5. And, of course, people's reactions are always noteworthy. Recent favorites:

a. The teeny tiny little dude (honestly, an absolutely adorably miniscule child) who started  waving wildly at me and whose face lit up when I beeped

b. You know that thing kids do to try to get truck drivers to honk their horns? There's a gaggle of kids at a bus stop who begin madly pumping their arms when they see me coming. I always oblige--not sure who is happier after this interaction, me or them.

c. So the cemetery obsession thing . . . I recently participated in a veterans' headstone cleaning event  where I met a man who is apparently a bit of a local celebrity in, um, headstone maintenance circles?? 

Anyway, after the event, he was parked on the opposite side of the parking lot from me and I rode over to him on Giacomo to hand him my card (I want to be his apprentice). He was leaning into the passenger side of his pickup truck and turned around to see me . . . and had ZERO reaction to a pink Vespa covered in stickers appearing behind him. Badass. 

Five on Friday: Spoils of the Three Days Away!

Last Thursday evening at around 6pm, I said to the party of three girls that were accompanying me, "Getting bagels was just THIS MORNING."

Nobody could believe it--that felt like it was days before! The reason is that road trip time is not like regular time. Even when multiple hours are frittered away in the car (or maybe since that time is wasted in the car? I don't get how this all works), the days are long and full of laughs and adventure. Those few days away will long be remembered via stories told, photos shared and the gifts and mementos we brought home.

1. I kind of have a thing for stickers. And honestly, as long as I keep coming up with places to use them, I think they're great souvenirs--they're inexpensive and easy to pack, even if you get this many!

I mean--MINI pierogi stickers. Mini!! Pierogis!! Can you stand it??

2. I got some lovely birthday gifts from the college students/alleged adults. From our daughter:

Giacomo!

3. Our son said he had a sort of lame gift for me and handed me a pair of my own underwear and socks that apparently went back to school with him after he did his last batch of laundry at home. 

At least this gift was my size?

He did redeem himself by sweetly asking if we were going to come back up to his apartment to hang out (after I took him food shopping). He then obliged my request for him to serenade me with his guitar while we ate lunch. 

4. We did hit a bunch of vintage shops and book stores and I just couldn't resist the boxes of old family photos (So mysterious! Sad! Fascinating!) and stereo cards. Old photos I know I'll use in collages and cards . . . but what will I do with these? Only time will tell!

5. Lastly a semi-impulse buy at the youngest's request, a yard sale card game that's already provided car ride and dinner time entertainment. Besides being a fun game, this will always make me smile since it will remind me of Spring Break 2022.

Five on Friday: Traumaversery Silver Linings

Personally, traumaverseries haven't been an issue for me. After I survived a trauma, several people told me that the rape would be "the first thing you think about in the morning and the last thing you think about at night for the rest of your life." This angered me so much. It felt like a curse--nothing like words of comfort. 

My reaction was to figure out a way to make that not true for myself. I was ultimately so successful that by the time the second anniversary rolled around, I didn't realize until a few days later . . . the third, a few months later. Now it takes me a few minutes to remember what the date was.

I do understand when other people struggle with traumaverseries, but I think I was able to turn that off in myself.

Or thought I had . . . because when mid-March rolls around and I check my Facebook memories in the mornings, I feel a small sense of dread when I see the start of the pandemic approaching. Oh, there was that last day of normalcy when I took a slew of kids out for shamrock shakes and rolling down the grassy hill . . .  oh, there are the desks I set up in the family room. There's that false hope that this would only last two weeks. 

 "Oh. Maybe this is a sort of a traumaversery."

It feels sort of ridiculous. Why would I feel pangs of grief when our family emerged from this unscathed? Yes, the first Easter without our extended families felt rough. But we got through it intact, all of us healthy and not really any worse for the wear. Maybe it's just this giant bleeding heart of mine feeling the pain for the world. 

As the March days go on, something magical happens in my memories. The pictures reflect our hope and resiliency, the ways we adapted, all the new things we tried, the time we spent together as a family of seven (particularly poignant now that the oldest two are off at college again and honestly probably not going to live here long-term again). I'm reminded of how our community worked together to pitch in and feed our hospital nurse neighbor's family and of just how much baking there was!

The optimist reemerges! I think maybe next year I won't feel so bad when those March memories start popping up again. (But if I do, I'll try to remember I just have to wait a few days for these lovely images to return:) 

Early pandemic silver linings, in images:

1. 

2.  

3. 

4.

5.

 

Five on Friday: How I Spent My Unexpected Late Winter Staycation

On Sunday, the offspring informed me that they'd have a half-day of school on Wednesday. 

"Oh no, no, no, my children, you must be mistaken as we are currently in the throes of a four-day weekend."

Sadly, they were correct. 

A disrupted school schedule always throws everything off, nobody's known what day it is all week (how on Earth is is Friday again and me without a post ready?) When I heard we'd be getting winter weather, I knew it would result in a school cancellation because that just makes sense on a week that's already had a day and a half off. (Two days if you count last Friday.)

With all the days off and the gorgeous couple of days of this year's second fake spring, it's almost like I've been on an unexpected late winter staycation.

Here's how I spent it:

1. We spent a good part of the day on Friday recreating this old photo of our good friend with his daughter in his place. We copied as many of the small details as we could.

(While insisting "I do not look exactly like my Dad, I don't know why everyone says that," she was also really patting herself on the back for how well she was able to mimic his smile. )

2. Donating blood. This always makes me feel good and I love that I can do it right next door at the high school.

3. Graveyard stomping. 

4. Basically begging every day (yes, at this point I feel safe calling it begging) for votes for our museum as the best in the county.

Vote for us here!

5. Plus, actually now that I gratefully reflect, some good family and friend time this past week: one walk with a friend, day drinks with other friends, coffee with another friend . . . a couple of rounds of Uno, a few kids' basketball games to watch. 

Oh, and what really might have been the best part of all: on my walk with a friend through the park on Monday, I could see that the boys' track team was coming our way. My son is on that team. I wasn't sure if my existence would mortify him so I was prepared to not make eye contact all. Well that charmer lit up with his world-famous smile and WAVED TO HIS MOTHER IN PUBLIC ENTIRELY OF HIS OWN ACCORD.

Best unexpected staycation ever.