Five on Friday: The Third Has Started College

A few weeks ago, we brought our son to college to start his freshman year and I didn't shed a single tear. Why not? Some reasons:

1. This is our third child going off to college. I didn't cry when he got on the kindergarten bus, either.

2. Unlike the first two that chose a college five hours away, this guy is just an hour away. Easy-peasy.

3. Honestly, he's been in that "my prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed yet causing me to make many poor decisions" stage for awhile now. It's completely frustrating but does make it easier for a parent to say "Buh-bye! Have a great time at college! Try to make good decisions!" and then turn around with a dry face.

4. He was enrolled in a summer program that had him at school four days a week for five weeks. It was a really great experience, introduced him to people and the campus and earned him seven credits. It also got us used to not having him here.

5. Maybe the biggest reason is this last one, a story I've shared with many parents sending their first kids off to college:

Fall 2019: We took our first to college. It was hard. I cried.

Spring 2020: She came home for spring break and then finished the year virtually because of the pandemic.

Fall 2020: She started her sophomore year and her brother started his freshman year at the same school . . . but both from home, virtually.

Spring 2021: They got to go back to school. Only one parent was allowed to help them move in, so my husband took them. Our daughter was living alone in a suite and our son was in a hotel room. Their classes were still virtual even though the younger kids had switched to hybrid by then. It wasn't much of a college experience.

Of all the age groups that suffered in different ways from the isolation, I truly felt the worst for my college kids. They should have been living with friends and learning from professors and exploring their new city and learning who they were away from us. But they didn't get the chance to, until . . .

Fall 2022: Both parents were allowed to take them this time. Together we got them settled into new places with friends. We left knowing they'd be starting in-person classes soon . . .  our sophomore's first time at college. I felt so happy for them getting to experience college fully, in the way that they deserved, that I did not cry when we left two kids five hours away.

The moral of the story, bittersweet though it may be, is to remember what an absolute privilege it is to be given the opportunity to go to college. I truly am happy that our third child is  able to take advantage of living on campus, with friends, taking in-person classes and getting to learn who he is without us.

And hopefully that prefrontal cortex develops a little before Thanksgiving break.

Five on Friday: The Youngest is Still a Pip

On our recent vacation, we tried to rank our immediate family members by sense of humor. For me, I know who are at the top and who are the bottom but I can't quite give them individual spots. Hey, we all have good and bad days.

One thing most of us agreed on was that our youngest daughter, age 14, is very funny. This drives the 16- and 18-year olds mad, they think she's not funny at all. We tell them it's not just what she says, it's how she says it and her timing--it's gold.

The boys say I only think she's funny because, on their list of who's funny and not, I am firmly at the bottom. Right above their younger sister.

So I'd like to present some of the things she's said and done lately to make me laugh or smile:

1. While driving around a town with friends, we saw a vape shop. We started commenting about vape flavors and she said, "I think I'll have the Caeser salad vape. You know, to keep it healthy."

2. After voting me more cringey than my friend, second year running, my friend started talking about Moms in general and how they all embarrass their kids but "then you know there's that time when your Mom does something super cool and . . . " This is where my daughter cut in saying, "I haven't experienced that yet."

3.  "I like getting new clothes but trying clothes on takes away from time I could be reading books."

4.  She was upstairs and could smell food so texted me this:

5. We were browsing at a book store and then this conversation randomly happened:

Her: "Mom, if I have a daughter I'm going to name her Pip."

Me: "Pip?

Her: "Short for Pippa."

Me: "That's cute."

Her: "No it's not that name is awful."

Five on Friday: Lost in Translation

We just returned from a lovely vacation in the Dominican Republic where I had the chance to dust off my rusty grasp on the Spanish language. I am aware that sometimes I said things like, "It seems like construction new buildings" and my gracious driver answered me without snickering.

Likewise, I never snickered at any of the native Spanish speakers who spoke English to us.  (Okay fine I laughed a little at the show host who said, "What the help?" instead of "What the hell" but that's because it was funny.)

However, I got a real kick out of the signs with funny translations. Maybe you will, too . . . enjoy:

1.

Pasa means raisin.
It also is a conjugated form of the verb "pasar," which can sometimes mean "happen" 

2.

Nobody wants a bad vacarions.

3.

I can't even try to explain this one.

4. 

Or this one either, honestly.

5. 

But I do know that if you need an Emergency Bottom,
my husband will be happy to oblige.

Five on Friday: Wonderful Water

Our next Story Slam is coming up on July 26th. Last month I had my story written a solid three weeks in advance . . . this time I'm having trouble narrowing down my topic. Right now it's a toss up between the following five potential choices:

1. My first time trying to sail a little Sunfish sail boat in Maine with a girl I met there who was also from New Jersey . . . including the hilarity that ensued when our Dads had to "save" us.

2.  Giving birth in a tub. Spoiler: still hurt like hell. Oh and also, this---

They ask you to buy one of these and bring it along.

3. The time I jumped in a pond in February to save my two-year-old.

4. A brief history of our circa 1787 house and the role the water sources here have played. 

(Say you're a history nerd without saying you're a history nerd . . . )

5. Reservoir memories.

Five on Friday: Summer Bucket List

Our 14-year-old has had a giant illustrated poster of her summer bucket list since March. The other day I asked our 16-year-old what was on his list and he really wasn't sure. I was kind of surprised but then when he asked, "What about you?" . . . I realized I didn't have anything either.

Well that's not true. I had one item: drive Giacomo the Vespa somewhere for an overnight trip but I actually did that already a couple of weeks ago.

There must be something else I want to do, right? 

Of course there is. Like:

1. A second overnight trip on Giacomo.

Why not?

2. Get back to my summer diet of fancy salads and seasonal cocktails).

3. More of this:

(inside our spring house)

4. Visit the Black Shed.

5. Plan & take a family vacation with all seven of us. (I mostly want to do the "taking" part but somebody has to plan it. Chop, chop.)

Five on Friday: Nifty Thrifty Fifty: Highlights from a Milestone Birthday

1. A month of celebrating including thrift shopping with a crew and a trip to Pittsburgh to see the alleged adults (okay that was to celebrate son's graduation but it was a joyful trip during my birthday month so it counts).

My actual birthday weekend was AWESOME with not one but TWO opportunities to dress up and go out, including:

2. Drag Queen Bingo the day before my birthday and . . .

3. The Mrs. Roper Romp on my 50th! Chef's kiss.

4. So many thoughtful gifts:

5. Some of them particularly appreciated for a lady of my advanced age . . . 

I had my first overnight hot flashes and wanted a fan to carry around!

THANKS MOM

  

Five on Friday: The Reviews are Rolling In

Since my NJ PBS premiere last week, I've got to say life is . . . pretty much the same aside from the occasional person saying, "I saw your show on PBS."

But that's not the only feedback I've gotten. Some of my favorites:

1. After the viewing party, the 13-year-old (who was a part of this conversation . . . and was chatting with friends during the show so she missed the only part of my story that mentioned her specifically) said: "I actually had fun tonight."

(Yes, I know she really just meant she had fun with her friends . . . but she admitted it to me so that counts for something.)

2. A comment on the NJPBS instagram post of the show's trailer   made by a stranger on  who reveals in their profile that they live with eight cats:

"You had me at I can't believe women do this twice"

3. From the alleged adults out in Pittsburgh, via text:

    (Daughter): I could actually already hit play but I’m waiting  

    (Son) I can’t watch until later I’m mad as hell

    (Daughter) #cried

    (Daughter) I liked hearing Nicole’s :)

    (Son) Man I want to go to a Story Slam

    (Son) That was super cool

4. My friend's online Spanish lessons sometimes spill over into email. She shared this with me:

Me ha encantado, se ha construido una comunidad muy especial entorno a ese café. La historia de Gina con sus hijos y la de la dueña del café en la pandemia me han emocionado. Qué gran lugar ese café con esa comunidad!

5. But this one takes the cake (My friend got this text from her mom):

Five on Friday: What I'll Miss/Not: Teen Sports Edition

As a mother of five with two grown and out on their own, I am very aware of how fleeting these days are. But that doesn't mean I'm going to miss all of it. I know this is true because in my moments of frustration when my kids were younger, other parents would tell me that I'd miss those days and I would argue that I wouldn't.  I can say now with absolute certainty that it's true: I really don't miss all of those days. Babies' snuggles and giggles: yes, Babies taking their dirty diapers off in their cribs: hard no.

Here are my predictions for what I will and will not miss, teen sports edition:

1. These two teen boys constantly talking smack to each other about who's taller, faster and a better athlete: WILL miss. It's silly how frequently they have the same exact arguments but it's in jest and fun banter for me to listen to.

2. The way their sneakers, usually left on our enclosed porch that one must walk through to enter the house, reek: WILL NOT miss. If you haven't ever experienced this stench before I will describe it as not unlike having the olfactory realization that there's a dead animal somewhere in an already stinky barnyard run by a farmer with terrible body odor.

Welcome to our home. Try not to breathe.

3. Getting grass stains out of uniforms: WILL/NOT miss . . . this one's a toss up, because on one hand it's more work for me but on the other hand I really do enjoy the challenge.

4. Sports banquets: WILL NOT.  (Booster club, you do a lovely job. It's not you, it's me.)

5. The three home kids doing sports together: WILL miss.  Currently the 16 & 17-year-olds are student athlete coaches for the 13-year-old's track practices so they are all there together . . . and the 17-year-old drives them. Having them walk in the house chatting about practice is firmly in the "will miss" category . . . especially when there's some smack talk involved.