Five on Friday: I am Considering Recanting

I may (definitely) have publicly stated that I am so grateful for these three younger kids having come into our lives for many reasons--a big one being that they extend our time of actively parenting growing children.

Friends, I swear to you that I am *this close* to recanting . . . because these teens are a lot lately.

1. Can you please put your clothes away?

"I did"

2. The clothes aren't bad though compared to a literal BANANA PEEL ON THE FLOOR.

3. The night before his driving test in the morning:

Yes, he has access to the internet and no, his mother
is not a State of New Jersey Department of Motor Vehicles employee.

4. On Wednesday March 5th, she asked if she could join a new activity that started two weeks later. 

Two weeks later, in the morning before she left for school and I left for work and an after-work meeting, she declared that she no longer knew how to use the printer at home.

After a lecture on time management and her swearing it was not two whole weeks ago
 that I asked her to print the forms, I provided receipts. 

5. 

5:30 pm 

Her: I forgot my sleepover bag at R's can you take me to get it?

Me: I just got home and I'm trying to make dinner . . . Dad's still out, ask him. Oh or actually he's going to meeting with her Dad tonight, maybe her Dad can bring it to the meeting. Text R or Dad and work it out.

8:15 pm

Her: Hi Dad do you have my bag?

Him (half deaf, plus she mumbled and he had no idea what she was talking about) What?

Me: (not getting involved)

Her: Ugh never mind. (stomps away)

9:40 pm

(Mom and Dad relaxing)

Her: Can someone take me to go get my bag?

Me: Did you text R before?

Her: She didn't answer.

Me: Did you text Dad then?

Her: (no reply) I need the charger that's in it.

Me: We have other chargers.

Her: I want the shorts that are in it for practice tomorrow.

Me: You have other shorts.

Her: It's literally a mile away why can't you take me?

Me: You should have taken care of this four hours ago.

Her: (stomps away) (and, spoiler alert: SURVIVES)

Five on Friday: Desperately Searching Spring

 

Listen, I have lived in New Jersey my entire life and I am fully aware that we are only into fake spring right now but I am HERE FOR IT. I can't say I'm seeing solid signs of spring but I am looking . . . hard. Sometimes even forcing* it.

Like:

1. Hanging the clothes out on the line: 

2. It's not warm enough for the Vespa yet (at least not for cold-wimpy me) but I was able to break in my new pants!

3. I know other folks near us have seen crocuses blooming but seeing as we live above the county's Magical Weather Line™ we have had no such luck. But they are trying!

Soon, babies, soon!

4. Cooking has begun to migrate back outdoors . . . to be followed soon enough by al fresco dining.      

   

5. *When I say forcing it . . . I really mean more like providing a loving environment to coax and encourage one to become one's fulfilled self. 

Five on Friday: Art & Adventure, Near & Far

I can accept the fact that not every weekend can be an extended one in the Caribbean. Difficult though it may be, it's easier when I remember to seek out art and adventure in my own backyard. Some recent examples of art and adventure, near and far:

1. If you live near me, you should follow what Bex Gallery is up to, we've enjoyed so much amazing local art there. Dan Fenelon's Big Magic exhibit is precisely that--check out the free artist talk coming up on February 7th.

2. On trails behind the high school that we've walked a dozen times, we only just discovered the low ropes course! Plus a little history for the nerd, hooray!

3. A fun interactive moment in the Love, Lust & Marriage tour offered by Historic Bethlehem Museum & Sites. (Followed up by some mofongo, which apparently we don't have to fly to Puerto Rico for, and live music at Godfrey Daniels.)

4. A powerful piece of artwork from the Stay: The Black Women of 19th Century Newark exhibit by Noelle Lorraine Williams at the Newark Museum of Art's Ballantine House.

5. Okay, yes, some scenes of art and adventure from afar, because these will fulfill and sustain me throughout the rest of the cold, cold winter ahead.  

     

Five on Friday: Is That You, Gina?

1.  . . . on those socks? Or those?

Nope and nope but there's got to be a reason both of these were gifted to me.
Resemblance? Message? Both?

2. Okay, fine, nobody's ever asked if that was supposed to be me on my socks. However, someone recently asked if my lapel pin was supposed to be me and I thought that was pretty funny.

3.  . . . on your tattoo? Well, representative of me at least.

4. . . . on those candles? You bet. Probably best homemade gift ever, made by my oldest daughter before she could even drive (I remember she had to enlist the help of others to get supplies!)

5. . . . hosting Scout's Story Slam? Usually yes but this month no! I've got one more week of this miserable weather and then I'll be on my way to the climate I should have been born in (for a few days at least).

Go enjoy Slam without me!

 Let me know how Leah & Nicole do (great, I am sure!)

Five on Friday: To Every Season (turn, turn, turn), There Is A Sport . . .

To most people, the transition from fall to winter is marked by shorter days, colder temperatures and falling leaves.

For a Multi-Sports Mom (MSM) like myself, the transition is from the outdoor sports of soccer and field hockey to the indoor sport of basketball. Though I've been watching basketball for years, there are always things I have to reacquaint myself with during the transition. For example, now that's back to basketball time, I've had to remember that:

1. At home games, there is no just moving to the top row of the bleachers if you forget the folding bleacher seat and want to lean back on the wall. Unfortunately, some ill-placed soundproofing panels* make this impossible. 

2. (*In spite of these panels . . . ) Basketball is fucking LOUD. Besides the cheering being contained inside four walls, the sneakers are squeaky and oh my god the buzzer is unnecessarily loud, long, overused and obnoxious.

3. Basketball is made up of four 8-minute quarters (unlike field hockey's four 15-minute quarters and soccer's two 40-minute halves) but ultimately, a sports minute is still a sports minute. (There is no mathematical equation that I know of to compare real life minutes to sports minutes, I just know sports minutes are always much, much longer than real life minutes.) #IYKYK

4.  When going to basketball, I don't need to pack extra clothes and blankets. (There is an extreme change in the weather from the start of an 80+ sports-minutes long late fall soccer game that starts when the sun is out and ends when the sun is down and it's freezing.)

5. It's comforting to know that no matter what sport it is and no matter how long I've been watching my kids play in it, I still never have any idea what is going on. 

If I'm very, very good and don't complain about how

 loud the buzzer is or how uncomfortable the bleachers are, 

maybe these cheerleaders will come back.

Five on Friday: How Old Are We Now?

The Christmas cards have begun arriving with the yearly updates on how everyone's sciatica is doing and how old their kids are now.  We just send photos, no updates, so if you're wondering, the "kids" are now 24, 22, 18, 16 and 14. As for my husband and me? We are this old:

1. We have now been married for precisely half of our entire lives. WEIRD.

2. (Talking about being married a long time . . . this next statement was made after our trip to the nude beach:) 

Husband: All these naked boobs all around me and all I could look at was that long hair on your chin. 

3.  I have long had stray hairs in odd places, freezing cold hands and feet in bed at night and the inability to make it through the night without a bathroom run. Guess who else is right with me now . . . the old man.

4. I have these two items unironically next to one another on my to-do list:

5. Our 14-year-old was playing a song with explicit lyrics on the kitchen speaker. They were a little too explicit for my husband to feel comfortable with our daughter blasting in the kitchen.

Husband: "Hey Google! Play NSF, um, not suitable for . . . wait, no, play the uh--oh man--the censored, er, the, oh! The radio edit versions of songs from now on."

Google (rolls eyes) : Whatever, Dad. 

Five on Friday: One Year In

As I approached the one-year anniversary of my new career, it's been bittersweet to remember what I was going through last year at this time. I truly loved my last job but I wasn't supported or respected--so much so that I left without having another job lined up. So I spent a few weeks as a lady of leisure before the stars aligned and I landed a local full-time gig.

Having never worked full-time as a parent nor ever having been an Executive Director before, this has been quite the adjustment. I have learned a lot in the last twelve months and I wanted to spend some time today reflecting on these lessons.

1. Pacing myself. This is hard for me--when I have an idea, I want it done yesterday. In reality, there's an event I thought I could have at the museum last spring that now I know I'll be lucky to get done this upcoming spring. 

A lot of people have asked me if the job was what I expected it would be. The truth is, I didn't know what to expect when it came to overseeing twelve buildings on ten acres, regular and seasonal staff and volunteers, school tours, events, programs, etc. Now I know just how much work it is. However, when they ask how it's going, I always stop short at saying "overwhelming" because I have an incredible support system here, and I've embraced:

2. Asking for help and delegating, something I did know how to do before but have been fine-tuning in the past twelve months. How? By paying more attention to asking the right people for help on specific tasks, making sure that volunteers are happy in their tasks, applying the "ask for help and delegate" notion more at home.

3. Feeling comfortable acknowledging that I am still learning. I don't have to be the expert in every area, I can call on others for help and, here's the key part--not feel less than for doing so.

(Recent home conversation with 14-year-old about homework led to my husband saying something like, "Mommy learns something every day." She of course responded, "No she's not" and I was like, "Girrrrrl, I am making this job up as I go along!")

4. Navigating the work-life balance: this has been a little bit of a struggle. Lately though I feel like I have been making strides in this department and I have many ideas for how I can continue to improve this in the upcoming year. 

5. Realizing how much we have achieved: When I started, people kept saying, "I can't wait to see what you'll do there!" I knew I wanted to make changes but I didn't know exactly what they were. That combined with #1 from above sometimes made it feel like it'd be impossible to have anything to show them.

Upon reflection, my team and I really have accomplished a lot together. The earliest changes were internal, so only we knew about them. Now that those are in place it feels really good to have more tangible growth to show the world.

So this week I am taking the time to feel the joy (and pride!) of my first year along with so much gratitude to those who have helped me realize these goals. 

I can't wait to see what we'll do next! 

Five on Friday: Reminders for Self for Successful Meal Planning

Okay, come on now, self, you're not the worst meal planner (You're not the worst! You're the okayest! You've got this!) At least you try?

For real though . . . as long as you remember these key pointers, you can do it.

1. One word: Leftovers.

2. Two words: Rotisserie. Chicken.

3. Three words: Fend. For. Yourselves.

4. Four words: Make. What. They. Like.

Making a big pot of chili to eat for several days sounds like a good idea until one kid says she doesn't like chili and the other says his stomach can't handle it. You know what they like: chicken noodle soup (use that rotisserie chicken carcass up!), pot pie, quiche. Just do yourself a favor and make those.

5. Five words: Cook. And. Prep. On. Sundays.

Remember, self--finding time for
something like this on a Sunday, means
you all eat better all week long.