Five on Friday: Back in the Swing of Things

Dude, is this really only the first full week of school for all three home kids? Seems hard to believe considering we've already had:

1. One call from school nurse.

2. Ten calls for money (okay fine there were more but only ten that I've responded to).

3. Double overtime.

4. Meal planning! Prepping several meals for the week on Sunday! Aaaand . . . having those plans fly out the window due to JV game, carpool duty, emergency eye doctor appointment (see #1) and then the Varsity game going to double overtime (see #3) . Sandwiches for dinner it was!

5. "Mom? Can you get this clean?" (Twice so far.)

Note to self: time to start buying Oxi-Clean on a regular basis again.

Five on Friday: Kid Check

For any of those trying to keep track . . .  here's an update on the kids' ages & stages, youngest to oldest:

1. The baby of the family turned twelve this summer and she is starting seventh grade next week. That's right, the BABY is in Junior High. (We don't actually call it that here but that makes it sound more dramatic, doesn't it?) She likes to spend her time perfecting her eye roll and finding new ways to bicker with me.

2. Youngest son (14)  just started his freshman year of High School. 

   

 He's excited about:

        a. sports

        b. meeting new people*

        c. sports and

        d. sports. 

He's not excited about:

        a. waking up early or 

        b. learning 

*particularly upper classmen who already know him because he's a great athlete and the younger brother of a great athlete

3. Middlest (16) is embarking on his junior year of High School but he hasn't had to suffer the wrath of the early morning alarm clock yet. He's enrolled in the polytech culinary program in the mornings and regular classes in the afternoons. However, polytech doesn't start until next week so for now he doesn't have go to school until 11:30.

Things he doesn't realize about the culinary program:

    a. Cooking is fun but this is still going to be school. And work.

    b. I will expect him to cook at home more now.

4. Oldest son (20) has maintained his first really steady summer job and is gearing up for his junior year of college. Based on the sorts of pictures he texts me, I'm pretty sure he's been very much enjoying life on his own in a fun city with friends and some spending cash.

5. Oldest daughter (21) graduated college in the spring, which was only the end of her junior year. She didn't exactly mean to do that, it just happened. She secured a summer fellowship at the Andy Warhol Museum and she is proud (as are we!) that she's credited in the publicity info for the upcoming show. 

Five on Friday: Mom Math

We're approaching the end of the school year which means it's final exam time! How good are you at Mom Math? (I do usually try to say "parent" instead of "Mom" but I really, really like alliteration, so . . . Mom Math it is!)

Take this handy quiz to find out! (answer key at the bottom of the page)

1. If Mom makes one large and one small quiche to feed two teenage boys, two parents and one tween girl but then leaves the teen boys home alone for dinner, how much quiche is left for the three other people to eat later?

2. How many seconds does it take for the tween girl to become mortified by Mom car-dancing in the driver's seat when it's only the two of them in the car and they're not even stopped at a red light where people could see her or anything?

3. If there's a task that Mom has been asking the High School sophomore to do after school every single ever-loving day since he was in kindergarten, how many more times will she need to ask him?

4. On any given day, how many toothbrushes can be found in the kids' bathroom?

5.  If the kids are now eleven, fourteen, sixteen, twenty and twenty-one, how many more family meals does Mom need to think up, purchase food for and prepare?

How much more bickering between the 11- and 14-year-old kids can Mom take before her head explodes?

ANSWER KEY:

1. One small

2. Three seconds, max.

3.  11 + 180 + 180

4.  The number of kids presently at home plus two . . . except sometimes when it's the number of kids presently at home minus one

5. Infinity. The answer is infinity meals.

Extra credit: No, really, I'm asking you how much more I can take. Because it doesn't feel like much and I'm wondering when I can anticipate the sweet release of my head exploding.

Five on Friday: Back in My Wheelhouse

I won't ever feel comfortable using the term "post-pandemic" since I've been burned before thinking this might be over. I believe now it's something we'll perpetually live through with various breakthroughs and occasional setbacks. 

Will we need to wear our masks indoors again soon and at times in the future? Sounds like that might be a yes. But since we're continually adapting, evolving and returning to doing things we love, I'm okay with that. When I look at our lives, almost everything has gotten back to a near-normal state: work, school, shopping, going out, traveling . . . 

One of the only things I hadn't gotten back to was my seasonal part-time work of leading school tours at the local historic mill. As time passed, I began to wonder if leading tours was something I wanted to get back to or not. Then in December, I led a private tour for a friend's visiting family and remembered how much I love interacting with kids that way. So when the email came asking who was in for giving tours this spring, I looked at my busy schedule and my never-ending to-do list and said, "Count me in!"

I'll admit, I had a few lingering doubts about whether or not this was a good idea or not . . . but if there are any divine forces out there trying to convince me to keep at it, they were hard at work yesterday. 

1. The weather was PERFECT. The buildings on the museum grounds are old, not insulated and don't have heat. So even if the temperature is a mild mid-60s outside, inside is very cold and I hate cold. But yesterday it was in the 70s by 9 am, which I loved. The sun was bright, the skies were blue, it was just lovely.

2.  As the buses pulled up and the kids began spilling out, it occurred to me: this isn't just my first school tour in three years, this is their first field trip in three years. This made the day feel that much more special and exciting.

3. All of my old friends were there! Other guides I haven't seen in years, of course, but it was also comforting to see the animals have kept their routines: a goose has a nest on the millrace wall again and the snapper turtle family is still hanging out by the turbine.

4. The kids were terrific. I was a little worried they wouldn't remember how to behave on a field trip but they were polite, engaged and fun. Bonus: the chaperones (who can frequently be worse than the kids, believe it or not) were also wonderful.

5. There were some challenges, like there always are, but all my old tricks came right back to me. Lead the kids through a building that hasn't been part of the tour before? Got it. Bus arrives twenty minutes late but  the four groups of kids still need to be done by noon? No problem.

So I guess you could say (ready for a little docent humor?) it felt really good to be back in my wheelhouse. 

I can't even look you in the eye that was so corny.

Five on Friday: A BTSN Proclamation

1.  I already accidentally missed the High School's Back to School Night this year, and . . .

2.  The announcements about COVID cases at the Middle School have already started coming in and that hasn't slowed anybody's insane "unmask our children" roll, and . . . 

3. I'd have to drive the 15-passenger van which is a bitch to park and the school parking lot is always so crowded and a request was sent out for the 6th grade parents to park in one area at the earlier arrival time and for the 8th grade parents to park in another area at the later arrival time which would mean if I wanted to be a good citizen* who happens to have both a 6th and an 8th grade student this year, I'd have to find not one but two parking spots for that beast**, and . . . 

4. I have had children at this very same school for the past ten consecutive years and they are literally my fourth and fifth children enrolled, and . . . 

5. I just sort of wanted to stay home and take a shower and chill; I thereby justify skipping the Middle School's Back to School Night this year, just in case you were wondering where I was.

Maybe next year

* And I am nothing if not a good citizen!

** Though searching for a second parking spot maybe would solve the "what to do during the 7th grade parent time slot" dilemma

Five on Friday: 2.5 Days in and Killing It

Well, friends, I set some goals for myself for once the children got back to school. They were almost like resolutions for the new (school) year. We've been at it for an entire two and a half days now and I gotta say, I'm sort of killing it!

Let's see, I had resolved to:

1. Get back into my near-daily exercise habit:

Check!

2. Do things like pick the throw pillows off the floor,  put them back on the couch, and then not have to do it again ten minutes later:

Eleven minutes and counting . . . 

3. Make dinner at 10:00 am:

Yup!

4. Not listen to a single Olivia Rodrigo song for at least eight hours:

Achieved but the weird thing is two nights when I had insomnia this song decided to haunt my brain. That's what I get for going cold turkey I guess.

5. Getting back to supposedly writing my memoir. 

Okay, I haven't done this yet. I needed a few days to catch up on some other stuff (I've gotten the van inspected and made calls and filled out forms and made appointments and and and . . . !!!) 

I'd try to protest, "Well at least I got some writing done!" meaning this list but that's a cop out because I have been writing my Five on Friday lists all along and this one is basically just recycling last week's list. 

But I have really good intentions for next week now that I got so many of those dumb calls and things done, so I'll only give myself a sideways thumb on this one. Don't want to discourage me or anything,  especially since I just realized they have another day off next week and we still won't be back to five full days yet . . .

Five on Friday: My Plans for When the Kids Are at School

In what is feeling very on-brand for the current era, the first day of school was canceled. THE FIRST DAY! Not just any first day, but the first day of a new year in which the plan is for the children to go to school for five full days a week after 18 months of first virtual schooling then summer vacation then virtual again followed hybrid but only for half days and then another summer break.

thank you, sweet yellow bus of mercy

So today they have a half day--because holiday weekend, natch--then Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday off. But Wednesday? Oh my god, Wednesday they will be gone by 8:30 and, because they are athletes and we are having normal sports schedules again this year (hooray! boo!), they won't be home until 5. 

I love my children so much that I can still cry talking about what a privilege it is to be their mother. But I'm also on the verge of being completely overwhelmed and just need a break. So I do not feel at all guilty about literally REJOICING over the start of the new, five full days a week school year.

I've got a lot planned for my upcoming solo time! Like:

1. Getting back into my near-daily exercise habit. I was doing really well with this for the majority of the summer so I don't know what happened--but I feel better physically and mentally when I'm getting more activity so this on the top of the list.

2. Getting back to supposedly writing my memoir. Remember my memoir? I barely do so I don't expect you to. But maybe, just maybe . . . you'll see it in the next 5-10 years. Oh and I'll record at least one more episode of my fake podcast that I started for my sister but then dropped when things got too hectic (not to mention the issues with consistent riding I had mid-to-late summer.)

3. Utilize my time in ways that might seem odd--like making dinner at 10am--but in the long run will make my life so much easier because I'll be running around so much for sports games and practices in the afternoon.

4. Do things like pick the throw pillows off the floor, put them back on the couch, and then not have to do it again ten minutes later.

5. Not listen to a single Olivia Rodrigo song for at least eight hours . . . nor any bickering at all. (I'd take Olivia on loop over the bickering though, to be honest)

Five on Friday: Roomier Nesters

We're almost one week into being a household of "only" three children living here. Not an empty nest, just a roomier one.

I cried before the big birds left, of course, and my husband consoled me that they'd be okay. I trust that they will, too, we did an pretty good job getting them ready for the world (or college at least? I hope? Please?) I know they can drive and vote but once they move out, even just for the semester, that serves as a stark and unavoidable symbol that their childhoods are over. It's not worry that makes me cry. 

Their absences haven't fully hit yet, with it being such a weird mixed-up week of massive quantities of snow and altered schedules. So what changes have I noticed in the roomier nest so far?

1. Their empty rooms have served as vacuums that immediately suctioned younger siblings in. I knew our 14-year-old, who normally shares a room with his brother, would be anxious to stretch out in his own space. I didn't anticipate our 10-year-old, who already has her own room, to claim her sister's room as her second bedroom. She didn't fully move in, mostly just spread her toys all over the floor but she did bring one piece of decor with her:

 2. We don't have to eat in the dining room anymore! Technically the kitchen table is still too small, only four chairs and there are five people here. But there are also two counter stools! Why do we like eating in the kitchen? Because the dining room is freezing and the kitchen is cozy, especially when you squeeze five people around a four-person table.

3. There are no drivers here to run errands for me. Boo. On the flipside, there are no drivers here that want to use my car and leave the gas tank low!

4. I don't have to cook as much--ha ha ha, just kidding. The three growing athletes here still eat a lot. I haven't adjusted amounts yet but I am finally learning what "leftovers" means.

5. We get to discover the joys of modern long distance relationships with people we love very much. I texted both college students yesterday with pictures of their brother's overnight bloody nose crime scene (if that doesn't make them homesick, I don't know what will) and had a chuckle at my son's quick reply of "Badass."

I got home from work to find my younger daughter in a video chat with her sister, who had been contacted by her younger brother earlier in the day, and she and I got to laugh together later over the content he had sent her.

Even though it's natural for me to feel sad about their childhoods being over, there are still many enjoyable parts of this roomier nest lifestyle. I'm sure by the time I really get used to it, the semester will be over and they'll be back (hooray!!!!).

Five on Friday: Things to Be Grateful for As I Prepare to Send Two Off to College

 

What’s that word to explain when you’re simultaneously feeling thrilled for your kids’ opportunities but sad because they’re growing up and little bit worried because they’re your kids and that’s your job? Oh right, parenthood. I think the word I’m looking for might just be parenthood.

 

I feel funny calling the older two my “kids” sometimes—at 18 and 20, they’re young adults. But what else can I call them? My offspring? Too weirdly impersonal. My adults? Same. My grown kids? To me that feels like it implies that they are financial independent, or in their thirties, whichever comes first.  

 

Anyway. They are going to college this weekend—one of them back for her the second half of her second year (she came home last March and has been home since), one for his first time. 

The younger three kids are thrilled by all the things they plan on doing with their older siblings’ empty bedrooms once they're gone.  While I will be enforcing some restrictions, I do understand--when my parents drove my older sister to college, I opted to stay home. By the time they returned, I had moved everything out of my shared bedroom and into hers.

 

Me? I’m experiencing all the mixed emotions that one does when sending her alleged adults to college five hours away from home during a worldly pandemic. If you know me at all, you know that means it's time for me to focus on all that I am grateful for in this scenario. I am so very thankful:

1. That they are going to the same school. Not only does this help us in a practical way, it just makes my heart happy.

 

2. These two have been very cautious with mask-wearing and people-seeing. I really don’t have any worries about them being careless in this regard. 

 

3. For, again, technology! Always grateful for the the ability to call, text and FaceTime.

 

4. That five hours is far but not too far. It’s driveable, which is extra great now since I’m still wary about airline travel.

 

5. That even though it's still going to be virtual learning,  they’ll be around their peers and in a different space and city. They want this. They need this. I really am so happy for them to be spreading their wings, even though I'm going to miss them.

 

 

 

Five on Friday: Adaptation

I had some scattered ideas for this week’s list but couldn’t find the theme at first. I thought about it some more and realized they are all in one way or another representative of how we are adapting to ongoing lockdown.

 

As we approach the seven-month mark, I am sure I’m not the only one that looks back to our earliest days without thinking “that’s cute how optimistic and productive we all were.” It was so new—we halted everything. Then time passed and there was still seemingly no end in sight, but we began to relive life . . . to adapt. And now, at this point, the adaptations have not only arisen but also evolved. 

 

Some of the items on this week's list are just observations on how life has changed while others  are plans for things that seemed impossible before. All are COVID adaptations for our family, seven months in:

 

1. I've learned to check my email first thing in the morning.  One of my kids is actually getting in to the school building on an every-other-week half-day hybrid schedule (and is going to the school grounds every weekday for soccer practice). 

 

I need to answer the emailed COVID questionnaire for him every weekday morning.  Even though I always wake up before everyone else and sit around with my coffee and social media for awhile, I apparently wasn't always remembering to check my email. Now I do.

 

2. Bittersweet conversation I overheard:

Son who turned 12 in early March: "Hey, I never got my do-over birthday (party)!"

Older & wiser sister:  "Hate to tell you, Buddy, you're probably not getting your *next* birthday either. 

 

3. My husband for the past two months: "So have you thought about how you might be able to hold the MLK Day of Service in January?" 

I hadn't. The thought filled me with dread. But all of a sudden I'm starting to think of possibilities. I took the plunge in reaching out to some other organizers to talk about how we can make it happen. It still seems hard, but doable.

 

4.  After repeated delays in getting our High School Senior’s yearbook (first because of COVID then some sort of typo/s that were so bad they couldn’t bear to hand the books out? We’re dying to know what it was!), it has finally arrived. He actually doesn’t care about it, didn’t even want it but I said I was going to buy it regardless.

Anyway, he has one signature in it. From his sister.

It's funny because neither of them is going anywhere.

5. And perhaps the biggest adaptation of all: I've begun prepping or even packing the kids' lunches even though they are all home all day and are all completely capable. I did say I was here to help them the best I could. Furthermore, I am sick to death of coming home from work in the late afternoon three days a week to discover that nobody ate a proper lunch and would like to do so just as I am deciding what to make for dinner. 

 

So I'm telling the "you're enabling them" voice in my head to shut up. I have begun doing things like making ten little containers of homemade macaroni and cheese and making sandwiches while I sip my morning coffee . . . but only after I complete the online COVID questionnaire. 

 

 

 

Five on Friday: Ways Remote Learning is Just Like In-Person Learning!

. . .  at least from Mom's point of view.

1.  Now that school has started, the children that have been waking up before 7 am for the majority of the summer have begun sleeping in. (Just like when they have real school! The only difference is now I can't threaten with "You're going to miss the bus!!") 

Likewise, my guy that's been sleeping in has switched a flip and is once again consistently the first one ready, but he's always been the exception to the rule in this matter.

2.  My kids are occupied all day which means my kids that can drive are no longer available to run my errands for me, but . . .

3. My kids are occupied all day!! And it's not me that's occupying them! So I can run my own damn errands, thank you very much.

4. I have absolutely no idea what their daily schedules are but they seem to know where to go at the right time so I'll just continue staying out of it.

5.  Sometimes there are fire drills! Okay, it was the smoke detector from a baking incident, but it did interrupt class with the alarm one would hear in the case of a true emergency.

 

Five on Friday: This Year's Back-to-School "Must Haves"

Just like everyone else, our back-to-school checklist looks a lot different this year. Since none of our kids are going to school in person (at least not yet: the younger three are working towards a hybrid schedule and I really hope they get to get into school, even if for just a week or two), we don't even need to stock up on face masks and sanitizer yet. 

But we still have five students (ages 10-19) starting their school years learning remotely all under one roof. So what are our family's back-to-school "must haves" this year? 

They include:

1. Noise cancelling headphones for the college freshman with a downstairs bedroom, a noisy family and an intense workload.

2. Frozen burritos and packages of ramen noodles for the two college students to have an easy, quick lunch option as well at the illusion of a more regular college experience.

3. A steady stream of easy-to-grab snacks for all five students.

4. Two new desks and sneaky spots to squeeze them into for improved work stations. Last spring's quickly put-together folding table in the family room got the job done but wasn't sustainable.

                                         Wasted space + free desk = learning nook!

5. A Mom who has offered her services to the children to not be entirely at their beck and call, but very willing to help them fetch that snack or burrito, find them a charging cord or refill their water bottles. Because while they may have their nooks and technology and amazing teachers doing the best they can under the circumstances, remote learning just isn't anybody's favorite around here. Since I can't do anything to change the situation, I can grab that granola bar for them.

Five on Friday: That Escalated Quickly

Hey friends . . . that escalated quickly, huh? How’s everyone doing out there adjusting to our collective new isolated reality? My family has every privilege and convenience for getting through this and I can still find it completely overwhelming to think about at times.

So, if you know me, you know that means it’s time for some gratitude and maybe a little humor:

1. Oh, these kids! They are doing great so far. I am really, really proud of them. I’m thankful for their willingness to adapt, for their teachers and administrators for making this as smooth as possible on very little notice, for the technology that keeps them real-time learning from their educators and laughing with their friends.

2. "Mom can I have a play date with (insert name of a child who has been terribly mean to my child so I don't know why she wants to be her friend and she most certainly will not ever have a play date with) ?" 

"Sorry, honey, Governor says no play dates"

  

3. Sometimes they go to their rooms for more privacy during class. Sometimes they are too lazy for stairs and then I find ridiculous scenes like this:

4.  I'm also grateful for the many wonderful massive road and camping trips we've taken as a family, I feel like those experiences have really provided for us many tools for spending extended periods of time together, entertaining each other and being resourceful.

5.  Me: "Did you . . . uh, get dressed today or did you sleep in that?"

12-year-old son: "I changed! I put these pants on this morning."

Me: "Okay. Sometimes it's hard to tell with you."

Him: "But I don't have a shirt under this sweatshirt . . . oh yeah and no underwear."

Five on Friday: The Freshman Parent Page

When my daughter made her college decision last spring, I sought out the Facebook page that had been created for parents of freshmen that would be going to the same University. I told my daughter I joined the page and that I would probably quit it soon.

"Why join if you think you'll quit?"

"Just in case there's any useful information but I have a feeling it will be annoying."

I was right. I only lasted a few weeks. I found it astonishing how many questions people were asking of other first-timers that really should have been asked of the college (or looked for the answer on its website). 

I was also shocked to realize that all those rumors I had heard about extreme helicopter parenting well into the college years are apparently true. I don't want to share exact posts, feels a little too mean, but I will divulge that someone asked what sort of shoes the "cool kids" are wearing these days. For their 18-year-old. Going to college.

Oh and there was that one person who wanted to know if the beds would have rails . . . okay I have to stop. I wasn't supposed to be posting specific examples. Long story short, I quit the page but my husband stayed on and would share the *best* posts with me. However, he'd never post the snarky replies I'd beg him to post so I rejoined the stupid thing.

To be fair, I also have not posted the snarky replies, because I don't want to be kicked off the page. It provides way too much comedy in my life now.

I will post some of my snarky comments here instead, so I can get it out of my system:

1. In response to the bed rails question: "Does anyone know how many outlets there are in the rooms? Need to buy outlet covers before our daughter moves in. TIA!"

2. In response to the multitude of what seem to be very general and easily answerable "Does anyone know . . ." questions: Let Me Google That For You

3.  Ask if anyone else stays on the page just for the humor

4. Okay, I did do one snarky thing. Someone asked about good Valentines gifts to send their student and one response was for a teddy-bear-constructing gift certificate "especially if it's for a girl!"  If you know me at all, you know I just . . . I just can't with that. I didn't say anything, I just reacted with a 🤣 even though I know the person was completely serious about it. Nobody's called me on it yet.

5. Post my own question: "Has anyone considering cutting the cord yet? Finding that the constant tugging from my daughter's walking from class to class is getting difficult."

Five on Friday: Family Forest

The fourth grade family tree project can be tricky. Not for our first two kids, but they are ours biologically and so this sort of project was designed with them in mind.

Our next two kids are adopted. As much as I wanted them to represent both of their families, I gave them the choice on how to complete it. E, who is older, chose to only represent his adoptive family on his tree. Z, who is younger, always does what his older brother does (even though he will strongly deny that). I'll admit I was a little disappointed but I respected their decisions.

Now our youngest child is in fourth grade and immediately announced that she wanted to include both of her families. I was thrilled but also had no idea how we were going to do it. Once again, I followed my child's lead and am so glad I did.

Here are some highlights and grats from working on this project with her:

1. I am so thankful to her teacher! The first part of this project involved writing down where my child's ancestors came from. When I reached out to her teacher to discuss this, I learned that she had already read a book and had discussions with the class on all of the ways our country was populated that included Native residents, immigration and slavery.

2. This teacher has had students with blended families create unique trees before but never had an adopted student who wanted to represent both of their families. I am further thankful to her teacher for being very receptive to letting our daughter take the lead on how to approach this.

3. The way she tackled it was completely unique, just like her and her families. Two families deserve two trees. I asked what about her and her two older brothers who are a part of both families? How would they be represented? They would be gold leaves that touched both trees.

Hard to tell from this picture, but her leaf is much more sparkly than her brothers' leaves.

4. I found myself once again extremely grateful for our relationships with birth family that made asking for more names and information much easier.

5. The final result: not a family tree but a Family Forest. She felt so proud of it that she asked me to not post on Facebook until she handed it in . . . she was convinced a classmate would see it and steal her ideas!

Five on Friday: Kindergarten & College

Well, I was right. It was exponentially harder . . . but to my surprise, getting my firstborn off to college actually has had a lot of similarities to when she started kindergarten. For example:

1. I have found that both times my overwhelming excitement for her has been tinged by a bit of bittersweet melancholy.

2. One of the reasons I felt so excited for her in both kindergarten and college was because I knew that she'd be meeting new people and making so many friends.

3. In both cases I also felt excited for her because I knew she would be learning so much! Not just academically--both kindergarten and college are such formative times for figuring out who one is away from their families.

4. Both instances made me realize how lucky I am to still have other children at home. It makes me remember to take the time to appreciate their childhoods a little more.

5. And, of course, I did cry both times . . .

. . . but this time I wasn't alone.

Five on Friday: School Trip Season! Chaperoning Pro Tips from a Tour Guide

This is my 4th year working as a tour guide and workshop leader (that means I get to do things like dress in costume and make candles) for school field trips at a local historic site.

When the tours are over, the kids pile back on the bus and then wave to us wildly through the windows. The tour guides stand together smiling and waving back . . . and unloading to each other about the problems experienced during that day's tour. Very frequently, chaperoning parents were part of the problem and rarely part of the solution.

If you've volunteered to chaperone a school trip this spring, here are some tips to keep your tour guide from complaining about you as the bus drives away:

1. Please don't talk while the tour guide is talking. This means on the phone or to other parents. If you have an urgent situation, step away to carry on your conversation.  I wish I didn't have to say this.

2. If you're the only other adult in the group--sometimes it happens that teachers have to divide their time between groups leaving only the tour guide and chaperone--please help if it is an unruly bunch. Most tour guides know how to handle kids but it's always helpful when another adult--particularly one who might know some of the kids' names*--can pitch in.

(*Otherwise we're all, "My little friend in the blue shirt, can I have your attention please?")

3.  Don't hand out hand warmers  to every single kid while the tour guide is speaking. (And it's not like we were touring the tundra. They could have just put their hands in their pockets.)

4. This one is for some Dads: stop giving all the Dad Chaperones a bad name by being loud, disruptive and rambunctious. You're there to have fun with your kid and help when needed. You don't have to become BFFs with every single first grader on the trip.

5. Lastly is the complaint heard almost every single tour: When the tour guide asks a question to the group during the tour: DO NOT ANSWER. THESE QUESTIONS ARE FOR THE CHILDREN. We are all super proud of you for knowing that builders in the early 1800s couldn't go to Home Depot to get lumber, but we really wanted to hear what the kids thought about that.