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5x5=25 |
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I guessed it was our youngest daughter, whom I drive to practice once a week. I was wrong, this was submitted by our 15-year-old who admitted I don't actually drive him to practice that much anymore. |
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5x5=25 |
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I guessed it was our youngest daughter, whom I drive to practice once a week. I was wrong, this was submitted by our 15-year-old who admitted I don't actually drive him to practice that much anymore. |
3. My older two live five hours away but they are really good about texting and honestly make me laugh out loud several times a week.
4. It's true I complain about our youngest a lot. She's always been my button-pusher. Lately, however, she's been a real sweetie. She stuck this note in my lunch:
2. When you think that it’s all done but it comes back, just for fun. Menstruation! (clap, clap) Menstruation!
3. When you keep that real gross pair as your period underwear. Menstruation! (clap, clap) Menstruation!
4. When you really want to go but you’re stuck home with Aunt Flo. Menstruation! (clap, clap) Menstruation!
5. When you don’t wanna hang with Gramps so you blame on your cramps. Menstruation! (clap, clap) Menstruation!
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"Do you think he looks like that because the naked baby's constantly blowing the horn in his face?" (EYE ROLL) |
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Two can play at that game, Missy. |
Remember when my family gifted me with this sweatshirt a few Christmases ago?
The Y might be starting to peel a little but I can proudly state, without hesitation, that the Mom Cringe levels over here have not subsided at all. Much to my tween's & teens' delight, they may have even increased. Some examples:
1. This is on my water bottle.
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MOM. She's naked. WHY? |
2. I continue on insisting on documenting nearly everything in their all-to-brief childhoods.
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Baby's first visit to the orthopedist! |
3. I dropped off a card and small gift for the new neighbor (That is SO old fashioned, Mom!)
4. I won an award and then tested it for authenticity. In public. Also had a picture taken of me doing so.
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Fine, I did it to be ridiculous but I can assure you it is genuine lucite. Or something like lucite, what do I know about lucite? |
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At least I have a friend to be cringy with. |
And all this before my husband and I decided to rewrite the "Diarrhea Song" to be about menstruation!! (Mom. That's disgusting. Why are you like that?)
Stay tuned for an upcoming entry in which I tell you my (self) nomination for Mother of the Year 2023!
I remember telling a friend about the antics of my fifth toddler, whose four older siblings did nothing to prepare me for. My friend looked me in the eye and said, "I feel bad for you."
She was serious but it made us both laugh, especially when I answered, "I do too."
The baby is twelve now, not quite as frustrating as she used to be, and definitely growing into her sense of humor (though she's still young enough that sometimes the things she says aren't intentionally humorous but make the adults laugh anyway).
Here are some recent quips, quotes and antics:
1. "I hate when you say lettuce is just crunchy water. Look at the ingredients."
2. I let her sleep in with a headache and later checked in on her from work. I'm still not sure if she was delirious or messing with me but since a few minutes later she was up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and telling her father she really wanted to go to school because they were doing a dissection . . . I'll let you draw your own conclusions.
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3. "Dad, I'm always concerned when you fart."
4. Recently informed me that the expensive two-week summer camp that she loved last year and is already registered for this year is "just a little too long, I think I want to stay home this summer." When pressed for a reason, said, "I just like my own bed."
I'm not entirely worried (yet) as this was on the heels of her telling me that she "just isn't into sleepovers anymore" but a few days later slept over at a friend's house.
5. And lastly, the birthday card she made for her brother last week:
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Alternately entitled: Say you're the fifth kid without saying you're the fifth kid |
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Oh yes, I thought I was very clever. |
Mom as a mermaid as imagined by our oldest daughter, circa 2014 |