Five on Friday: Recent Ridiculousness

I don't know, man, sometimes I think our family might be more ridiculous than others. Are we? Or is this typical? Here are five things that have been said or done here recently, you be the judge:


 

1. Me, to the teenagers: Um, what are you guys doing?
Them: Trying to see how many baby carrots we can fit in G's mouth.
(It was 25. I am not sure if I should feel proud or . . . something else)

2. Me, to myself: Is this . . . is this yellow puddle near the base of the toilet . . . is this URINE? (Thanks, Captain Obvious)

3. Me, to the middle boys: Boys, you HAVE to have at least one nice pair of pants.
Them (whining): But why?
Me: Because! Just . . . in case someone dies or something.

4. Me, to myself again: GAH, why does this bedroom (shared by two super-athletic and resistant to showering pre-teen boys) smell so damn bad all the time??? (I'm beginning to notice that Captain Obvious comes out frequently when I'm speaking out loud to myself)

5. Me, to the teenagers: As long as I live a nice long life, I give you permission to throw a host a circus funeral when I die.
Them: What's that supposed to be like?
Me: It's open to interpretation.
Then they started talking about how they'd get my corpse onto a trapeze.
Me: What? This is your mother you're talking about! Do you really want to do that?
Them: You SAID it was open to interpretation.
Me: Forget it, I take it all back.