Last week I told you how I like to hashtag the heck out of "so proud" but always did sarcastically until that Five on Friday list.
Something else I hashtag frequently is "Mother of the Year" (also always sarcastically). So to keep up with the trend will I now make a list of five recent times I actually felt like I deserved an award for this gig? No way! Instead I share five recent statements I actually said that deserve a sardonic #MOTY tag.
1. I don’t have to do this for you guys, it’s just a courtesy I provide.
2. You can't sit in the car outside the store by yourself, I don't feel like getting arrested today.
3. If you wake me up I'm going to punch you. (*In my defense this one was said to the teenagers who had a friend--whose parents I've known since way before she was born--after 11 pm. Also in my defense, I did not punch them when they did wake me up by being really loud an hour later. However, I did passive-aggressively wake them up at 9 am with a list of chores to do, which they probably disliked as much as being punched, if not more.)
4. We're not using floor popcorn for your party. Fine, you can eat it, but it's not for your friends.
5. You can't talk to our guests like that so you're going to have to be locked inside until the party's over. (Ha! That one was to the dog, don't worry. I really did admonish her for "talking" to the guests that way though.)