It’s our fifth kid’s last day of being five so today's list is all about her!
We didn’t expect you, kiddo, and we didn’t think you would stay. The thought of falling in love with baby and then not having her with us forever was a bit scary. But you needed a soft place to land and we had one. And as soon as we heard about your existence, we loved you. We couldn’t say no.
But you came when we were already getting old and tired. Looking back, though, I do believe there were both disadvantages AND advantages to being the fifth kid. I am sorry and not sorry for:
1. I am sorry that you often were fed by bottle-prop. I am not sorry that your siblings got to hold and feed you frequently.
2. I am sorry that you got no infant massage class, tumble time, toddler story hour. Well not formally anyway. You got that at home with me and from all the small hands that wanted to help with the baby.
3. I am sorry that you got me and Daddy at our oldest and most exhausted. But you also got us at our most experienced in raising babies and toddlers stage! That has to count for something, right?
4. I am sorry that you got to have all sorts of sweets and gum and tastes of soda WAY before any of the other kids did. But I am sure you are not sorry about that at all.
5. Lastly and most seriously: I am sorry that you didn’t get to stay with your first parents. I really am. I know that is something that you get sad about sometimes, too, and will continue to have feelings to work through as you get older. But I will never be sorry that we took chances: on saying yes to a baby that might not stay, to simultaneously wishing you could go back and that you’d never leave, to opening up our hearts and lives to your first parents. You might not be able to live with them but the fact that you can know them and love them as you grow here with us is an amazing gift I never thought we’d be lucky enough to receive.
Blink! Tomorrow you will be six. Happy Birthday, big girl. I love you.